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Soho Penthouse

For Rent

13 window penthouse in Soho. Sleeps 40, raves ~120. Landlord is a recently retired club promoter that is currently looking for life outside the club, but asks that you "keep shit noticeably #lit while I'm out." Text your local MDMA dealer for more details.

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East Hampton Estate

For Rent

8 bedroom, 72 window, autumn estate. Perfect for destination Thanksgivings, people looking to be possessed by demonic spirits, or maybe just an affluent US senator that would like everyone to know that he is a affluent US senator. $175k for the season. Phone your local exorcist for more details. 

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Block Island Compound

For Rent

6 bed, 2.75 bath home on a island 18 miles offshore in the Atlantic. Perfect for a retired weatherman, an accomplished romance novelist, or an elderly couple that got lost and never returned from their honeymoon 37 years ago. May or may not have been featured as the stock desktop wallpaper for Windows 98. Contact Microsoft for more details.